Masijongane nayo: ixhala kunye nokudakumba kunokuba rhabaxa. Abaninzi abahlala nayo banokuveza amandla abo kwabo babangqongileyo, ukuze baqinisekise ukuba abo babathandayo bangaze bazive ngolu hlobo.
Nangona kubalulekile ukwabelana ngothando, ukulibala malunga nawe kunokukhokelela ekuziphatheni okuxhomekeke kunye nokulahlekelwa kwesazisi sakho. Xa abanye besiza kuqala, uzixelela ngokuphindaphindiweyo: Andibalulekanga kangako.
Ukuzithanda ayisiyonto nje yabantu abahle, abaphumeleleyo, abangaphandle kancinci ku-Instagram. Nguwe kuphela umntu oza kuchitha umzuzwana ngamnye wobomi bakho, kwaye ke sesona buchule sixabisekileyo uya kuze usifunde.
Akuyi kuba lula, kodwa ukuqala ukuziqonda unokwakha indlela eya ekunyamezeleni ukungakhuseleki kwakho. Emva koku, usenokukwazi ukuzibhiyozela nje kancinci.
Yeka ukulinda ukuba "ubomi bakho bokwenyani" buqale
Oku kukudilika nje, akunjalo? Ayibobomi bakho bokwenyani, okwangoku. Ekuphela kwento ekufuneka uyenzile kukudlula kule nto inzima, kwaye ke ubomi bakho bokwenyani buya kulinda ekoneni kwaye uya kuba. Lungile ngenxa yalo.
Ukuba ulindele ukuba amafu acoceke xa ulahlekelwe bubunzima bomzimba, okanye ufumane imali ethe chatha, okanye ufumane “lowo”, thatha umzuzwana uzibuze ukuba yintoni kanye ocinga ukuba iya kwenzeka.
Oku asikokukutyhafisa ekubeni usebenzele iinjongo zakho: kuchasene noko. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ufuna ezi zinto kuba ziya kutyebisa ngokwenene ubomi bakho okanye zenze izinto zibe lula kuwe. Abanye kungenxa yokuba uyabafuna - kwaye kulungile!
Nangona kunjalo, ukujonga ubomi bakho njengothotho lwamaxesha kwi-limbo kuya kubangela ukuba ujonge ngasemva kwaye uqonde ukuba lingakanani ixesha oliphosileyo. Ewe, ukufikelela usukelo lwakho kunokuphucula ubomi bakho, kodwa abayi kukuqalisa. Wenza ubomi ngoku.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uqale ngothando
Onke amakhandlela elivumba ehlabathini akayi kukwenza uzithande RuPaul-style. Olu luhambo olucothayo oluya kujongana nokungakhuseleki kwakho kwaye, ngamanye amaxesha, umbono wokubhiyozela izinto ezithile malunga nawe ubonakala ungenakwenzeka. Ngoko, ukuba awuyi kugqiba ukuzithanda, ukuzithanda akunanjongo, akunjalo ...?
Ukuba uthando alukho emfanekisweni, Injongo yokunyamezelana Ekuqaleni. Sinokuzigxeka yonke imihla, ukuya kwinqanaba apho kubonakala kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Amathuba okuba uziva ugula xa uthetha ezi zinto zinye kumntu omthandayo.
Iingcinga zokuba mbi, ukukruqula, okanye ukungaphumeleli zinokungena ezingqondweni zethu ngokukhawuleza kunokuba unokuzinqanda. Nangona kungasoloko kusenzeka ukulawula ezi ngcinga, kuxhomekeke kuwe ukuba uzilungise.
Iziqinisekiso eziqinisekileyo ziyasebenza kwabanye - kodwa, kuninzi lwethu, baxakile. Amabinzana afana nala, “ndimhle”, “ndizimele”, okanye “ndingenza nantoni na” anokubonakala njengobuxoki ukuba sele usilwa nokungazithembi okanye uneengxaki ebomini bakho.
Endaweni yoko, makhe sijonge ukunyamezela kwakhona. Injongo yeengxelo ezingathathi hlangothi eziyinyaniso ngokungathandabuzekiyo. Zama:
- Ndehlika ebhedini.
- Inja ithembele kum ukuba ndiyityise.
- Ndingumntu, kwaye bonke abantu bafanelwe yimbeko.
- Ndizakuzama kwakhona.
- Andaphukanga.
- Kulungile ukucaphuka.
- Umzimba wam awenzanga nto imbi.
- Andiyi kuva ngale ndlela ngonaphakade.
- Ndinxibe isinxibo sam endisithandayo namhlanje.
Khetha imizekelo engenakuphikiswa. Kuya kuba nzima ukuba ingqondo yakho ikhuphe intshulube indlela yayo yokuphuma kubo - nokuba iyazama. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, usenokuwanyusa ngegiya: ukusuka “Ndinxibe isinxibo sam endisithandayo” ukuya “Ndiyayithanda indlela endiziva ngayo kwesi sinxibo” ukuya “Ndiyayithanda indlela endikhangeleka ngayo kwesi sinxibo”, umzekelo.
Iziqinisekiso ezingathathi hlangothi zibaluleke ngokufanayo ekuzilungiseni kwakhona indlela ozijonga ngayo, kuba kuya kuziva kuncinci ngathi uyazidlala. Zonke ziyinyani.
F izigaba ezibalulekileyo
Kukho entsha into ethile kumakhasi onxibelelwano mihla le. Umsesane oqaqambileyo wokuthethathethana; izitshixo zendlu entsha; umntu othweswe isidanga...
Ngokukodwa kwiminyaka yakho yamashumi amabini kunye namashumi amathathu, kunokuziva ngathi zonke izinto ezilindelekileyo azinakwenzeka. Kwaye kungenxa yokuba kunjalo! Eli lixesha elahluka-hlukeneyo lobomi kangangokuba awukwazi ukubakho kulo lonke uhlobo lwezinto oziva ngathi abantu bazilindele kuwe. Khawulezisa! Yehlisa isantya! Le yeyona minyaka yakho intle!
Kungokwemvelo ukuphethukela kubahlobo nakusapho oluye lwatyhubela ezi ziganeko zibalulekileyo uze uzive ngathi ufanele ulandele ubulumko babo bokwenene. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka kusebenze kuwe ngoku - okanye nanini na.
Oku kuyafana nje nokuba ukhula. Mhlawumbi uziva uliphose ithuba lakho. Xa ujongisisa, unokufumanisa ukuba izizathu zakho ziphelela kwisithethe okanye kwimibono ekudala ikho malunga nokuba umzali/umfundi/ingcali “kufuneka ibukeke”.
Zive iimvakalelo
Inzima le. Phantse zonke iingcebiso zempilo zilungiselelwe ukuba sizikhuthaze xa siziva sisiya sisondela.
Oko kwathiwa, ukuphambuka rhoqo ayisosisombululo sexesha elide sokulawula iimvakalelo zakho. Ukuba kukho into ekufuneka uyiqhube, kubalulekile ukuba bazive yona. Oku kulula kakhulu ukukubekela ecaleni: sele uziva ulahliwe, kutheni ke uhlala phantsi utye? Ukujongana neemvakalelo ezinzima kuyadinisa, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha awunalo ixesha lokuzisula yonke imini.
Kwakhona, kunokuba nzima ukuchonga ukuba ungubani hayi ukuziva ngexesha elinzima. UFreud uchonge indlela yokuzikhusela ebizwa ngokuba “yi-intellectualisation”, apho umntu azingcungcuthekisa ngokunzulu kwinkalo yengqiqo yemeko kangangokuba adlule kwiimvakalelo zakhe.
Isenokubonisa njengokuziphosa kumalungiselelo omngcwabo emva kokulahlekelwa, okanye uzama ukuthethelela izenzo zomntu okuphatha kakubi.
Oku kwenza ukuba kubonakale ngathi ujongene nengxaki, kodwa enyanisweni, awusondeli ekufikeleleni unobangela wayo kwaye uzivumele ukuba uphile.
Ukuba ubukhe wadakumba okanye unexhala ixeshana, usenokuba usete isiseko esitsha sempilo yakho iyonke. Ewe, awukho mkhulu, kodwa uzinzile. Awukho worse njengokuba ubunjalo kwiveki ephelileyo.
Ingxaki yeyokuba, ukuba ubusenza oku ixesha elininzi lobomi bakho, usenokungazi nokuba ungahlala njani neemvakalelo zakho. Le yinto ekufuneka ifundwe kwaye mhlawumbi ayizukuza lula kumaxesha ambalwa okuqala.
Qala ngokuchonga iimvakalelo zomzimba emzimbeni wakho. Ngaba uziva ukhathazekile, uxinezelekile, okanye ungento yanto? Okulandelayo, jonga iintlobo zeengcinga ezifika engqondweni yakho. Zibhale phantsi ukuba ziyanceda.
Xa sizama ukucacisa iimvakalelo zethu, sidla ngokunika isizathu semvakalelo, kunokuba sichaze iimvakalelo ngokwazo. Usenokuthi, “Andazi ukuba mandithini ngokulandelayo,” kunokuthi “Ndiyoyika”. Zama ukwahlula ezimbini; Bilisa iingcinga zakho kwaye umamele imiqondiso yenyama enikelwa ngumzimba wakho. Zibuze: Kunjani ukuziva ngolu hlobo? Yintoni ezama ukunxibelelana? Yintoni oyifunayo kakhulu ngoku?
Into eyahlula ukuqhubekeka nokuqengqeleka kukuba uvulele ukuziqonda ngcono - nokuba kufuneka uyeke uzame kwakhona ngolunye usuku.